Fellowship in Student Ministry

Kids will be kids—but their culture has changed.

 

I’ve been serving in full-time student ministry in Berlin for 8 years and I can testify that in that time span, youth culture has experienced seismic shifts. Sure, youth culture is always changing somehow, but it’s arguably changing faster than ever. With things like social media, advances in technology, accessibility of youth sports, new marketing techniques, and busier schedules, I’ve come to pivot points in ministry where I realize that some of the old ways of “doing ministry” just won’t work anymore. It’s not that they’re bad or they didn’t work at one point. But new cultures and trends may require a fresh approach.

 

I checked with a few youth workers and asked what changes they’ve noticed in student culture over the last 5-10 years. Here’s how they responded.

 

Tim Bordeaux: I’ve noticed an increase in how busy kids are and their level of stress is also higher. The demands put on them have increased in multiple areas of life. But with that, opportunities have also opened up, good and bad. There’s more you can learn, but also be distracted by.

The number of kids who say I deal with a lot of anxiety, worry, and depression has ramped way, way up. Technology has made the world smaller and made a few things seem scarier.

 

Amanda Dowdy: In an age that pretends to be more connected than ever, students are feeling lonely and disconnected. When relationships are valued at “likes” and “streaks,” vulnerability and authenticity go out the window. This is tough for students, but also a wide-open opportunity for us as youth workers.

 

John Howenstine: The biggest thing I’ve witnessed is the pace of how things change. I think social media has played a huge role in that. Social media, for all its benefits, has also made a lot of kids feel either bullied or depressed. I’m noticing that more. 


You’re also starting to see pushback from students as well because they are tired of change. They desire stability. It’s changing too quick and too often. They’re not able to appreciate what’s currently in and thrive in a steady environment.

 

All three responses share a common trait: lack of real connection. How will the Brethren respond? As I’ve been processing this, I can’t help but wonder what the Brethren and their fellowship model has to offer a youth culture so saturated with options and choices. If you’re not familiar, the Brethren hold firm to a Fellowship Model of being the church. The Fellowship Model is a highly relational way of living that emphasizes communication and personal connection because we see that this is the way Jesus lived and the way he designed us. Brethren believe strongly in relationships at nearly every level of our polity and values. While this can be frustrating at times, it’s a beautiful portrayal of the Church scripture envisions for Jesus’ family. It’s a distinctive feature that helps shape our understanding of being Brethren. And this Fellowship Model has monumental implications for student ministry in today’s culture, too. We should be encouraged because we’re positioned perfectly to engage the culture around us, breaking through walls of opposition if we simply embrace who we are as Brethren and be intentionally relational.

 

When the trends change (like they always do), students consistently crave community. And I’m not talking about a large following on Facebook, Instagram, or Snapchat. I’m talking about someone who will sit down with them and listen to life’s struggles from an authentic perspective, perhaps someone who will clear their schedules and show up at their door because they’ve heard a friend is struggling. It’s much different than sending a motivational picture through an app.

 

You see, Brethren are positioned to engage student culture well because their value of fellowship doesn’t change. It doesn’t matter if there are new options for students to take part in, or some craze that’s swept through schools and clubs. Relationships make us relevant no matter the trend or decade. It’s why the Brethren have “staying power” and are ready to connect with the student culture around us.

 

Here are some examples of the fellowship model and connection working in different ministries.

 

Tim Bordeaux: One positive thing is that kids are starved for an extended family experience and community. They can be the most difficult to reach type of kid, but if you’re meeting that need, they thrive. Unchurched kids cling to this. They love when there are adults and students ready to embrace them. You don’t need a big budget for this, huge outreach events, or have a team of trained professionals. Instead, it’s folks who are ready to extend acceptance and love through community in Jesus. They’ll take it and love it—a place to belong.

 

Amanda Dowdy: Connecting with students once they graduate is something I’ve been investing in, and the response has blown me away. We spend years with them while they are in high school, helping them build a firm foundation and understanding of their identity in Christ, and it is an honor to walk with them as they start to live that out in new contexts. Just keeping tabs on them and going for a walk or coffee with them when they are in town continues the relationship past student ministry and helps them see themselves as a part of the wider church.

 

John Howenstine: I spent time and sat with a student at Engage Conference this year. Being able to spend time with this student for a week was fantastic. She called me the other night out of the blue and opened up about some family situations. She did that because she valued our relationship. Our time at conference opened up a launching point for her. I didn’t tell her to call me back later, or wait for office hours. It was important to engage fellowship so that’s why I did. And it’s paying dividends.


Another story--a family that left our church a while back has reached out to talk because they saw real relationships in their time with us. They came back to talk because of the connection. It was more about relationship than program.

 

Kids will be kids. Their culture will change. But the need for meaningful connection and relationship within the family of Christ will stand the test of time no matter the trends or culture.

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By the rude bridge that arched the flood, Their flag to April’s breeze unfurled, Here once the embattled farmers stood, And fired shot heard round the world. “Concord Hymn,” Ralph Waldo Emerson, 1836. This is true. The American Revolution was transformative. One hundred years later, poet James Russell Lowell celebrated the modest span as “era-parting.” As the Concord militia ran across the bridge chasing retreating redcoats, they ran from one era into another. This is also true. The United States was the first government founded on the principle that “all men are created equally.” To be sure, this noble concept was very imperfectly implemented, but nobody else, certainly not European monarchies, even pretended to believe it. On April 19 we rightly celebrate the 250th anniversary of Concord, the beginning of a war that led to American independence. But there’s more. The first shots were not fired across Emerson’s “rude bridge” but on Lexington Common. Here three British companies faced the village militia. Major John Pitcairn, the British commander, ordered the Massachusetts men to disperse. The militia captain, John Parker, seeing that his men were significantly outnumbered, ordered them to break ranks and leave. But before they could, somebody—we still don’t know who—shot, and the British spontaneously responded with heavy fire. Then, again without orders, they charged, shooting and bayoneting, including the wounded. Historians disagree over whether British officers encouraged the melee or futilely screamed for order. Almost certainly, however, redcoats cut down fleeing militiamen. It was more massacre than battle. This atrocity, not Emerson’s “shot heard round the world,” inaugurated a lengthy, difficult, brutal war. The War for Independence lasted eight years, the longest conflict in American history until Vietnam and now fourth behind Afghanistan, Iraq, and Vietnam. Civilians were targeted, casualties high, and prisoners, when taken, treated inhumanely. Lexington wasn’t the only time in the war when wounded and surrendering soldiers were assaulted; both sides did it, but more often the British. As people of faith remember Lexington and Concord, they can find three takeaways. 1. Injustice creates conflict. Identifying wrongs inflicted upon us comes naturally, but the call is to recognize injustice felt by others. The colonists had legitimate grievances: They were unrepresented in Parliament and taxed without their consent, a fundamental injustice. Logically, they demanded self-government. For ignoring American complaints, Imperial leadership lost some of its most valuable colonies, and its military endured high casualties. The lesson is that release for the captives and freedom for the oppressed are both the right thing to do—"Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness”—and pragmatic because of the problems they solve. 2. Similarly, bad things happen when people stop listening to each other. Mostly, this falls again on the British. Even a few months after Lexington and Concord, independence was still not mainstream among Americans, who probably would have accepted something short of full sovereignty. How might the history of the British Empire evolved if it had listened and applied the Golden Rule? Tone-deafness cost the British severely. Likewise, may we remember that most arguments have two sides. The Empire’s anger over the extensive property damage caused by the Boston Tea Party feels legitimate. Refusal to concede that the other side has a point or two often has significant practical cost, in this case further widening the breach between the Empire and its seaboard colonies. This is not to say that Jesus compromised his values, but he lunched with tax collectors and sinners and, presumably, listened. 3. Wars are easier to start than to stop. This includes labor (strikes) and trade wars. The great conflict that started on Lexington Green lasted much longer than anybody thought. In fact, there was little deliberation. Tensions escalated and anger boiled until violence erupted, and once the floodgates of war opened, it took eight years and rivers of blood spilled before they closed. Blessed are the peacemakers, for they are not only the children of God but, in practice, they rescue society and, especially, innocents from the suffering of war. In the long run society is best served by peace (and justice). Do justice, listen, and make peace: Put together, these lessons from Lexington are foundation stones of Christian behavior, and they equip Brethren to be the salt of the earth in tumultuous times. Steve Longenecker is Professor of History, emeritus, at Bridgewater College (VA). Photo by Donovan Reeves on Unsplash
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